User blog:The Nameless Lancer/The Lancer's Bloodborne Academy - How to Fight Fishmen
(Daniel and Fredrick are waiting for class to start. Grace hasn’t arrived yet, and The Lancer is over an hour late. They don’t understand what is going on.) Daniel: Class was supposed to start over an hour ago. Fredrick: And where’s Grace? She’s usually the first one here. Daniel: I know. This is very odd. (Suddenly, both Grace and The Lancer enter the room. Grace is clearly trying to resist smiling. Daniel and Fredrick are both a little creeped out.) The Lancer: Alright. Sorry that I’m late. I was…. busy. Daniel: I can see that. Fredrick: Me too. The Lancer: Got something to say? Fredrick: Nope. (The Lancer begins to open his mouth to speak, but all of a sudden, he hears his bestial mistress screaming in another room.) The Lancer: (Sigh) I’ll be right back. (The Lancer leaves the room. Daniel and Fredrick both look at Grace.) Fredrick: Did you and him….. Grace: Yes. We did. Daniel: Would you mind saying how old you are? Grace: Yes, I do mind. Fredrick: He’s like 50 years old. Grace: He’s 47. Fredrick: Still. It’s weird. (The Lancer re enters the room.) The Lancer: Sorry for that little interruption. And I’m also sorry for being late. Today’s lesson is going to be about Fishmen. Fishmen are some of the most annoying creatures ever. So, if you’re going up against them, then you need to be prepared. I’m going to be teaching you how to fight them. Any questions before we begin? (No response) Then let’s get started. Fishman The Lancer: The most basic kind of Fishman is not too difficult to deal with. There are a few different types of them. The most common type is a spearman. As their name suggests, they wield a spear that they use to stab you if you get too close. They can deal a decent amount of damage, but are easy to evade. There are also spear throwers, which are similar to the spearmen, but they have extra spears that they throw if their enemy is too far away. Daniel: How many extra spears do they have? The Lancer: I’m really not sure. But anyway, the next type of fishman uses a cleaver. They’re not as common as the first 2, but are definitely more dangerous. Despite wielding a heavy cleaver, they can charge quite fast, and if they are able to grab you, they will knock you to the ground and hit you multiple times with their cleaver, which deals a substantial amount of damage, so don’t let them grab you, and try to stay at a distance. The next type uses 2 rakes. They movie pretty fast, and are very evasive. They really more on speed and multi-attacks than simply rushing at their enemies. If you happen to encounter one of them, try to be quicker than them. And finally, the last type of standard fishmen is a bomb thrower. As you can guess by the title, they throw bombs at you, so you’ll need to be careful when going up against them. The main issue that you’re likely to come across with the bomb throwers is if you encounter them in an area with a lot of oil barrels, which, if you know how oil and fire go together, is very obvious why you need to be careful in that situation. Any questions? Fredrick: Can any of them be parried? The Lancer: Yes. Anything else? (No response.) Moving on. Fish Dog The Lancer: The next type of fishmen that I’ll be teaching you about is the Fish Dog. First off, why the fuck are they called "fish dogs"? Are they fish or dogs? Anyway, they fight almost exactly like normal dogs. They quickly charge at their prey, and commonly accompany regular Fishmen. They can stagger their prey easily, but, like regular dogs, are stunned by Blood damage. They do, however, have an ability that sets them apart from other dogs. They can do a paralyzing shriek that leaves their enemies stunned. Be very careful with these guys, because you don’t want to be paralyzed. Any questions? Daniel: Why are they called "fish dogs"? The Lancer: I have no fucking idea. Moving on. Fishman Mage The Lancer: The next type of fishmen is the Fishman Mage. There are two types of the fishman mage. The first is the staff wielder, which wields a large staff that's bigger than their entire body, and can summon lightning to attack their enemies. They can rain lightning on you even if you’re not in their line of sight. So be very careful. Fortunately, their long staff makes them easy to spot from a distance, so you should be able to tell when one is around. Any questions about this guy? Daniel: Will they be able to rain lightning on you if you’re inside a building? The Lancer: I don’t think so. Grace: What is the other type? The Lancer: I was getting to that. The other type is called a Whisperer. They can easily be identified since they almost never move. That doesn’t mean that they’re weak, however. Their attacks are extremely powerful, and can kill an enemy quickly if they’re not careful. Probably their most annoying ability involves sending homing orbs that track down enemies. If you’re able to get in close, though, they will die instantly from any attack. So, if you encounter any fishman mages, be very careful. Let's move on. Snail Woman The Lancer: The second to last type of fish enemy is very different from the rest, since it's actually a snail woman. Like the Fishman Mages, there are two types of Snail Women: ones with shells, and ones without shells. The ones with shells are generally easier to handle. They move slowly, and their attacks aren’t that bad. They can absorb a decent amount of damage, however, and can easily trap an unlucky enemy in a corner if they aren’t careful. The other kind doesn’t have a shell. This one is not as resilient, but moves a lot faster, and is much more aggressive. They often attack in groups, which is extremely dangerous. Now, I’ve tried to use my.... Daniel: NO! The Lancer: What? Daniel: I know where you were going with that. The Lancer: Am I that predicable? Daniel: Yes. The Lancer: Forget it, then. Something you should be aware of is that both types of snail women are complelety immune to bolt damage. Yep. They are often found in water, but electricity does nothing to them. Use fire instead. Any questions? Fredrick: What is the best way to approach an encounter with snail women? The Lancer: Aggressively. Rush in, attack repeatedly, and don’t let them breathe. Don’t be like me and try to use your... never mind. I’m not going there. Let’s move on. There’s one more type of fishmen left to discuss. Giant Fishman The Lancer: The Giant Fishman is by far the most dangerous and hated type of fishman. Despite their massive size, they are not as slow as you might think, since they can slide on their stomachs to cover ground quickly. There are two types of them: ones that don’t have weapons, and ones that wield anchors. The anchors wielders are definitely the more dangerous of the two. They tend to have long windups in their attacks that can catch even the most experienced warriors off guard. They are also extremely resilient to damage. The unarmed giants are not as dangerous, but that's not saying much. They have a dangerous grab attack that's difficult to deal with, and can even eat anyone unlucky enough to face them. They are easier to parry than the anchor wielders, and don’t take as much damage to kill, but don’t underestimate them. An old friend of mine called them "Shit Whales", which is a very accurate description, since they are pretty bullshit creatures. And that's the end of this lesson. Any questions? Grace: What happened to your friend? The Lancer: You mean the one that hated the giants? Grace: Yes. The Lancer: I honestly don't know. I haven’t seen him in a long time. Anything else? Daniel: What are the fishmen weak to? The Lancer: Fire. Use fire. Anything else? (No response.) Class dismissed. (Everyone leaves. The Lancer goes into his room where his bestial mistress is.) The Lancer: Hey, girl. How are you? (She makes dog noises.) Wanna play? Category:Blog posts